Question: Controlling My Thoughts

"HOW CAN I CONTROL what I think?" a friend asked me this weekend.

Obviously trying to control the thoughts that come to one's mind would make a person nutty. A victorious life has nothing to do with being a wierdo.

It is better to think of the mind as your home. It has a front door. The question becomes, then,

When a harmful thought comes to me, do I welcome it in, seat it by the fireplace, bring it a cup of coffee and have a nice chat with it?

Or

Do I regard it as an enemy and a stranger?

For example, the Fathers tell us that thinking over and over about the bad stuff people have done to you ("the remembrance of wrongs") is something that will mess you up and ruin your prayers. So, when that cruel person or event pops in my head, do I push the thought away, or do I meditate on what was done to me, how unfair it was, and how much I need revenge?

As far as thoughts relating to fornication and sexual impurity, do I have an "open-door policy"? Do develop and refine schemes for achieving sinful ends over and over in my head?

Taking the metaphor one more step:

Is my mind an open doorway where any thought can come and go as it pleases? Or do I have an armed guard there (positive hobbies and interests, holy thoughts)? Have I reinforced the door with the Word of God and spiritual reading, or have I smashed it down and filled it with holes (with poisonous material)?

Hesychios the Priest notes, "Watchfulness is a continual fixing and halting of thought at the entrance to the heart. In this way predatory and murderous thoughts are marked down as they approach and what they say and do is noted...If we are conscientious in this, we can gain much experience and knowledge of spiritual warfare."*

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*On Watchfulness and Holiness no. 6

Special? No Thanks.

IT WAS DISCOVERED last year that presidential and vice-president candidate John Edwards had been having an extra-marital affair. When Oprah Winfrey recently interview his wife, I began to think back on some of the comments Edwards made in his 2008 public statement:

In 2006 I made a serious error in judgment and conducted myself in a way that was disloyal to my family and to my core beliefs. I recognized my mistake, and I told my wife I had a liaison with another woman and asked for her forgiveness.

In the course of several campaigns I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic. If you want to beat me up, feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself.(1)

The statement "I started to believe I was special," quite frankly, scared the felafel out me. It reminded me, uncomfortably, of the strange but unquestionable link between pride and the fall into sin. Many centuries ago, John Climacus wrote, "I have seen pride lead to humility...The pit and offspring of conceit is a fall."(2)

Likewise, Maximus the Confessor wrote, "The origin of all the passions is self-love; their consummation is pride...He who cuts this off cuts off at the same time all the passions that come from it."(3) In other words, if I strangle my arrogance, I save myself a lot of anger, lust and nastiness.

Is it really surprising that more special we think we are, the less we feel that the rules of morality and purity apply to us?
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(1)"Edwards Admits to Affair in 2006," New York Times, August 8, 2008
(2)John Climacus: The Ladder of Divine Ascent (The Classics of Western Spirituality)
(3)Third Century on Love, no. 57, St. Maximus the Confessor: The Ascetic Life, The Four Centuries on Charity (Ancient Christian Writers)

Where Two or Three Are Gathered

Sam Beshara at Laborer of the Eleventh Hour, who graduated from college yesterday, has posted some very nice reflections on friendship.

In a Rush?

Each of us feels a sense of urgency in the morning, especially on Monday, to "get rolling." As with breakfast, (and I know this is corny), but the morning prayer is arguably the "most important prayer of the day." For those days when you really feel under the gun, may I suggest a you take a moment with one or both of the following prayers, taken from the first hour of the Coptic Prayerbook of the Hours (Agpeya)?

* * *

FIRST ABSOLUTION:

O Lord, God of hosts, who exists before all ages and abides forever, who created the sun for daylight, and the night as rest for all men; we thank You, O King of ages, for You have let us pass through the night in peace, and brought us to the daybreak. Therefore, we ask You, O our Master, the King of all ages, to let Your face shine upon us, and the light of Your divine knowledge enlighten us. Grant us, O our Master, to be sons of light and sons of day, to pass this day in righteousness, chastity and good conduct, that we may complete all the rest of the days of our life without offence; through the grace, the compassion and the love of mankind of Your Only-Begotten Son Jesus Christ, and the gift of Your Holy Spirit, now and at all times and forever. Amen.

SECOND ABSOLUTION:

O God Who causes the light to burst forth, Who lets His sun shine upon the righteous and the wicked, Who created the light which illuminates the whole world, enlighten our minds, our hearts and our understandings, O Master of all, and grant us to please You this present day. Guard us from every bad thing, from every sin, and from every adversitive power; through Christ Jesus our Lord, with whom You are blessed, with the Holy Spirit, the Life-Giver and one essence with You, now and at all times and unto the ages of all ages. Amen.

Mailbag Friday!

A friend writes,

Okay so I'm reading the book of Proverbs so there's going to be a lot of questions coming at ya buddy. Chapter 10 verse 3; can you please explain what this verse means? 'The LORD will not allow the righteous soul to famish, But He casts away the desire of the wicked.'

Say hi to the wife and kids.

Thanks Nads,
TWT

Well, obviously I am not qualified to explain what it means but note what St. John Chrysostom writes:

Have I been stripped of every thing,” one says, “and do you bid me keep silent? Have I been shamefully used, and do you exhort me to bear it meekly? And how shall I be able?” Nay, but it is most easy if thou wilt look up unto heaven; if thou wilt behold the beauty that is in sight; and whither God hath promised to receive thee, if thou bear wrong nobly. Do this then; and looking up unto the heaven, think that thou art made like unto Him that sitteth there upon the Cherubim. For He also was injured and He bore it; He was reproached and avenged not Himself; and was beaten, yet He asserted not His cause. Nay, He made return, in the contrary kind, to those who did such things, even in benefits without number; and He commanded us to be imitators of Him.

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Consider that thou camest naked out of thy mother’s womb, and that naked both thou and he that hath done thee wrong shall depart; rather, he for his part, with innumerable wounds, breeding worms. Consider that things present are but for a season; count over the tombs of thine ancestors; acquaint thyself accurately with past events; and thou shalt see that the wrong-doer hath made thee stronger. For his own passion he hath aggravated, his covetousness I mean; but yours, he hath alleviated…

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And besides all this, he hath set you free from cares, agony, envy, informers, trouble, worry, perpetual fear; and the foul mass of evils he hath heaped upon his own head.

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“What then,” saith one, “if I have to struggle with hunger?” Thou endurest this with Paul, who saith, (1 Cor. iv. 10.) “Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked.” But he did it, you will say, “for God’s sake:” do thou it also for God’s sake. For when thou abstainest from avenging, thou dost so for God’s sake.

+++

“But he that wronged me, takes his pleasure with the wealthy.” Nay, rather with the devil. But be you crowned with Paul.

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Therefore fear not hunger, for “The LORD will not allow the righteous soul to famish, but He casts away the desire of the wicked.”

There are a couple of points here:

1. Look to the righteous One, sitting upon the Cherubim, who bore many evils and bids us to follow him.

2. Consider the passing nature of this life.

3. Look closely, and see what the person may have inadvertently relieved you from and heaped upon himself.

Roadkill Is Gross

When I'm out on a run and get surprised by a dead animal, I hold my breath, even if it means I may pass out. Nasty.

Think about someone you're angry with. I may think I'm exercising my "right" to stay angry, but all the while I'm desperately holding onto something in my mind that's rotten and foul. St. Maximus the Confessor advises, "Do not befoul your intellect by clinging to thoughts filled with anger and sensual desire. Otherwise you will lose your capacity for pure prayer."(1)

Could anger be the reason we don't reap the benefits of prayer. Could it be why we don't pray more regularly?

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(1) St. Maximos the Confessor, Four Centuries on Love